Two more days. It's pretty surreal. I spent the day with my mom cleaning, laundering, and doing all of this last minute stuff that just HAS to get done. I guess.
Yesterday, Kendall and I went to the hospital to meet people and see places. I held it together pretty well. Made it all the way to my car. It think the hardest part is that it just feels so close. Just one step in the other direction and we could be visiting the hospital with excitement instead of dread.
We met all of these nurses who were really nice. They showed us the room we would be in which was on the labor and delivery side instead of the recovery side so we don't have to be around all the babies. They put me in seriously the biggest hospital room I have ever seen. It will definitely come in handy if I need to do some cartwheels or something.
The nurses were nice. Don't remember their names or faces, but for some reason all the nurses kept telling me about how they have popsicles. And don't forget to bring my favorite snacks and Ipod, and robe, and books.
And I'm thinking. What exactly are they picturing me doing? Kicking back in my robe and slippers, playing Angry Birds on my Ipod while sucking down some popsicles and doritos?
Who knows. Maybe I will. I guess it will all depend on Gracie. Though I doubt if she passes quickly I'll feel like doing much of anything but sleeping.
They made it very clear that they would give me painkillers that would not make me sleepy so I could be alert and I said, "That's great. I do want to be alert but if she passes, seriously feel free to knock me out for a few days."
They all laughed tentatively and I said, "No, seriously."
Well I guess if they won't knock me out, at least there are popsicles.
Emma, I have been thinking of you non-stop. I've been fighting the urge to hop on a plane and arrive on your doorstep...which would accomplish who knows what, except to make your life that much more "weird". I promise I won't do that...unless you needed me too...which I know you don't. Can you follow? ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat hospital are you delivering at? Can you e-mail me (bklamoreaux@gmail.com) or Facebook me,or call me (480-275-7747) to let me know???? I know contacting others is probably the last thing you want to do right now. It's just that Brig and I would like to send some flowers.
We love you.
Can't believe the time has come so quickly. I'm glad some of the Ray's can be there for support. I wasn't exactly sure how you might feel about people coming in town, maybe because I'm not so sure I would want a bunch of visitors in your position, but it's sweet of you to have them, if nothing more than to help Kendall also. I hope you enjoy the precious time you have with her, and most of all I hope the millennium is just around the corner so we can all see and play with her soon.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I love you and am so grateful to be your sister-in-law so I can learn from your example. Thank you for being the strong mother and woman that you are and sharing this journey with us. I hope you will continue to share your posts and experiences with us throughout the healing process. They are a source of reflection and strength in my own life. We love you and know Heavenly Father is watching over you.
Can't stop thinking of you and praying for you and Kendall. I would want to be knocked out too. Don't forget to take all the pictures you can. You will want them later, atleast I hear most people do. Glad to hear you have a good room and nice nurses. I love you.
ReplyDeleteI just picked a random post to comment on, because I'm trying to make this semi private, but don't know how to contact you otherwise. Emma, I don't know if you know me. I was a CTR 5 Teacher last year, but only taught James once or twice when his teacher was gone, so I didn't see you much. I am sorry I did not know what you were experiencing until last weekend. You are a brave soul and have my full admiration for the faith and strength you are summoning to carry you and countless others through this time.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being willing to share this part of your life with others. You have a beautiful daughter. You are an excellent writer and express yourself so well. I was moved to tears so many times in your writing, but in the pictures you are smiling and present a picture of peace, even though the inner turmoil must have made that very difficult at times. Thank you also for your perspective and not sugar coating perhaps the most challenging time of your life. You are real and genuine and I appreciated all the details, from Kendall's unwitting smearing of mascara to sweet Gracie's appearance when you finally were able to hold her after those first cruel moments after her birth when the medical workers were helping her. Your faith in the Lord is evident through this and your testimony shines. With love, JoEllen Morris