Dear Friends and Family,

Let me first say that we are overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and prayers and concern from all of you. It is amazing to know how much support we and out little Gracie Belle have.

This post serves two purposes: one being, I want everyone to know the specifics of the situation and two being, I am fairly unpredictable right now and seeing as I can burst into tears while ordering pizza over the phone, it is best to just communicate in typed words. (And yes, the pizza guy was very polite and said he was sorry which I appreciated.)

So. We found out on Thursday that we are FINALLY having a girl. Salvation was mine for just a moment. Then we found out she has spina bifida (a condition where the spine is growing outside of the body), hydrocephalous (water on the brain associated with the spina bifida), and a heart condition.

My visions of my pink little girl began slipping through my fingers.

But a few days, a few doctor's appointments, and several hundred dollars later, it's beginning to process and we are starting to rally.

We had a heart echo wherein we learned that Gracie's aortic valve in her heart is malformed. It is causing the left ventricle to swell and causing a back splash of blood. I mean, there is more to it but I don't know the words and let's just say it is not good.

At least that is what the doctor's always seem to say- like it is scripted or something:

It is not good.

I have to go in for a heart echo every two weeks right now to monitor the heart for heart failure. The next eight weeks are critical. If she makes it through, she should make it to birth. The Doctor said she is hopeful that she will. Once Gracie is born it could go one of two ways. Either the heart will have grown just enough that they can repair the valve and it will hopefully get back to business as usual or the left side of her heart will begin to atrophy and they will have to somehow divert the flow and just use the right side of her heart.

That sounds bad. I know. But apparently the right side alone can be used and live a fairly normal life with running and skipping- probably not sports- but a normal kid life.

However, the spina bifida will probably keep her from running and skipping. The lesion is pretty high on her spine and the odds of her being able to walk or have bowel control are pretty low.

The water on her brain is also not good. The outcome will probably be that she will have learning disabilities. The MRI doctor said she will have a personality and be able to speak and learn and possibly go to school- she just might have problems like dyslexia or in some cases her right brain may not be able to communicate with her left brain.

The biggest problem right now is everything is unknown. her prognosis is good for surviving the pregnancy so we are holding to that. We just don't know what the condition of the heart will be or how severe her spine problems will be.

The minute she is born she is going to be whisked away to have heart surgery. Normally she would be whisked away to have spine surgery but they have to fix her heart first or else she wouldn't survive the spine surgery. Soon after she recovers from heart surgery, then she will have the spine surgery and once she recovers from that. . . then, hopefully little Gracie Belle will be able to come home.

There are difficult days ahead and the outcome is far from certain but we have hope and we truly believe that miracles can happen so please don't stop praying.

The boys are taking it in stride. They pray for Gracie in every prayer. One of James' best friends at school was a little girl in a wheelchair. Though it breaks our hearts to think of the possibility of a wheelchair, James has tender memories of his friend and I know he will be such a loving, protective brother. James will start first grade next week and we have enrolled Harrison in a five day preschool program so hopefully that will give them routine and keep them busy. Bennett is of course blissfully unaware, but he has started sleeping through the night- magically- and I am not so sure if it isn't his way of supporting me.

It is strange because I literally go from being a stay at home mom who rarely leaves the house to someone with seventeen appointments in one month. I even bought a calendar.

We are hopeful and prayerful and know that God is very aware of us and our trials at this time. We have the utmost faith in Gracie and know that she is strong and will make it through. You should see the hard times she gives the MRI and heart echo techs with how wiggly she is.

Kendall calls her his little fighter. Thanks to all of you for being in her side of the ring.